


When The Time is Right

by RavenReyesWrites



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Break Up, KenAka, M/M, akaken, birthday angst, idk if that's a thing but yes, the akaken breakup no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27058990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenReyesWrites/pseuds/RavenReyesWrites
Summary: Breaking up with Kenma on his birthday would be cruel, but Keiji couldn’t think of a much better, more appropriate time to do it than today.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma, Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma
Comments: 7
Kudos: 40





	When The Time is Right

Keiji’s eyes fluttered open, his alarm waking him up from the peaceful slumber he was in. He picked up his phone from the bedside table and looked at what time it was, careful not to wake Kenma up from his position on his bare chest.

07:30 AM

He yawned, closing his eyes for a few moments as he reveled in the warmth his boyfriend’s equally naked body was giving him. He can’t remember what time they _finished_ and slept, but considering that he and some of Kenma’s friends surprised him at exactly 12 midnight with cakes and balloons, and Kenma just wouldn’t sleep until he was _satiated,_ they must have retired by around 3 AM.

Four hours and thirty minutes of sleep wasn’t enough for the overworked writer, but today’s a special day and he still has a lot of errands to do. And so with a sigh and a soft kiss at the top of Kenma’s head, he slowly slipped out of his embrace and walked inside their bathroom. He braced himself on the sink and stared at himself on the mirror, eyeing the two, three, five visible hickeys on his neck and chest.

Kenma sure was _feral_ last night.

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, closing his eyes as the _dreaded_ thought invaded his mind again. He tried pushing it away by thinking of his itinerary for the day, what shops he could visit to buy the gifts he has in mind (something he couldn’t do earlier because of work and limited budget), and buying the ingredients for the intimate birthday dinner he will be preparing. He is no chef, but for Kenma’s 24th birthday, he sure will try to give him the best dinner he can make him.

He turned the shower on, hoping that the sound of it would drown out _the_ thought completely. He needed no reminder; he had planned this for a while, so there’s no way he will be forgetting _that._ A bitter smile spread on his lips as he started shampooing his hair, but it quickly turned into a frown. 

Breaking up with Kenma on his birthday would be cruel, but he couldn’t think of a much better, more appropriate time to do it than today.

No, it wasn’t an impulsive decision on his part. 

No, there was no third party involved. 

No, he didn’t fall out of love.

Yes, his own thoughts had pushed him to ultimately decide on that.

He started soaping his body just as his mind reminded him of how they started almost six years ago. They were seniors when Keiji finally had the courage to ask Kenma out, while the blond setter was eating a slice of watermelon nonetheless, during the last summer training camp. His yes didn’t come easy, but with Keiji’s persistence, and Kuroo and Bokuto knocking some sense into Kenma about how Keiji would be good for him, he finally relented.

After that, everything has been blissful, perfect. Keiji couldn’t ask for more, especially when they had both finally graduated from college, he got a job he actually likes, and Kenma had him move in with him for good. He had been told that dating someone is different than actually living with them, but two years in and they’re still yet to have a major fight.

So to say that they were a compatible match would be an understatement, and their friends could attest to that. They have even started betting on who’s gonna propose to who and when the wedding would be (the pot money is at $10000, the last time he checked) and all he could do then was roll his eyes at the absurdity of their rich friends.

But now, it has become one of the factors why he’s planning to break up with Kenma.

He had heard this _unsolicited_ advice before: “date someone who has the same financial status as you”. That way, one wouldn’t be pressured into earning the same paycheck as the other. And on the other hand, the one who’s earning more wouldn’t offend the other by basically paying for all their needs. He can’t remember when he had heard it, but it had made him reflect on his relationship with the gamer. 

Kenma doesn’t boast nor hide how wealthy he is. He has one principle: if it’s nice and useful, he’ll get it. Keiji had witnessed his huge purchases over the years, and all Keiji could do was help him carry said packages and maybe treat Kenma to dinner after his shopping spree.

Kenma never asked him for anything material, for the record. Well, except for that one afternoon when he suddenly wanted this watermelon popsicle from the shop near Keiji’s workplace and he asked him to buy him a 12-pack. And maybe that one time when he ran out of his shampoo and asked Keiji to buy him a bottle while he was grocery shopping using Kenma’s card.

Point is, he never pressured Keiji into buying him anything, from accessories to games or even a simple shirt. He buys them himself and sometimes, he buys Keiji something useful but never to the point that he had spoiled him.

He was glad of the last part; the last thing he wanted others to think is that he had stayed this long with Kenma only for his money. 

Maybe that’s where the problem began, when he became more concerned about what other people might think over how he had known Kenma over the years. It was stupid, almost childish, he knows, but he just couldn’t fathom ruining either of their names because of it.

He shook his head. He has done this mental debate a hell lot of times already. His decision is final. After this perfect day he had planned for Kenma, he will leave. That’s it.

He got out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist, making a beeline toward their closet and picking out a shirt and a pair of pants.

“Going somewhere, Keiji?” Kenma asked in that soft sleepy voice of his, making Keiji turn to him with a smile as Kenma rubbed his eyes.

Keiji sat on the bed and kissed his lips chastely, chuckling when he whined as he pulled back shortly. “I just need to drop by the office to leave some documents. I’ll be back before you know it.” 

“I thought you already filed for a leave today?” Kenma asked as he sat up, his blanket pooling by his waist and leaving his chest exposed.

“I have. I won’t take long, Kenma. I promised we will stay in for your birthday and then I will cook dinner so we won’t have to go out. That’s still happening.”

“Well I hope you didn’t forget that I have a meeting the entire afternoon today, so if you want to pick up where we left off earlier, you better come back immediately,” Kenma husked out as he ran his fingers through Keiji’s wet hair, biting his lip as his eyes focused on Keiji’s torso.

“I didn’t, so…” he trailed off as he took his hand and kissed the back of it as he stood up. “If you don’t mind, I’ll finish dressing up.”

“Fine, but I’m watching you,” Kenma said as he laid on his side and looked at Keiji as he put on his shirt. He loosened the towel from his waist and let it fall on the floor, and Kenma’s eyes were now on his boyfriend’s exposed length. He almost let out a whine of protest when Keiji immediately put on a pair of black boxers followed by his pants, huffing when Keiji only _winked_ at him.

Once he was done, he took his car keys, wallet, and handkerchief before leaning down to lay a soft kiss on Kenma’s forehead. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he said before letting Kenma pull him in a deep kiss.

* * *

Minutes later, Keiji found himself driving towards the only mall open at the time. Making up the office excuse was a last minute decision; he didn’t expect for Kenma to be awake when he came out of the bathroom. He planned to get Kenma the latest PS5 and some of the games he had heard him talking about in one of his streams. He was surprised he hadn’t bought the console himself, but a bigger part of him was glad; he wouldn’t spend way too much time looking for a gift that he knew Kenma will like.

Because really, what can you buy someone who can easily afford anything he wants?

Upon arriving, he walked into the first store he saw that had a poster of the PS5 up. The console was not as pricey as he expected, but he also bought seven games and some of the recommended accessories. The way he looked at his account balance on his online banking app and expecting the same amount in cold cash in one of Kenma’s wallets right now, it amused Keiji, really.

Still, Keiji tried. His job pays him enough to live comfortably, but Kenma’s hobbies and interests cost a lot,and being the good boyfriend Kenma sees him, he spent the last few months skipping his usual monthly online shop hauls and saved some more bucks all for this day. It’s Kenma’s birthday, and he would be damned if he lets this one come off as an ordinary day for the guy who made his life extraordinary.

He has to make this extra special, considering that this will be the last time he will celebrate it with him.

He had instructed the store to have the boxes delivered by 7 PM that night to their apartment, and after paying for the delivery fee, he exited the store and went down to the grocery store at the ground floor. He was busy comparing the packs of meat when his phone pinged of an incoming message. 

_“I got called in early to work. Some issue about this online bashing against Bouncing Ball last night needs some immediate action.”_

_“I’ll see you tonight for dinner, Keiji.”_

_“I love you.”_

He swallowed at the last text, closing his eyes as tears threatened to fall. Those three words may appear simple and _usual_ for couples, but Kenma rarely says or texts them. He saves them on special times, like on their first anniversary, when they graduated, when he made his first $1M, and when he finally moved in with him.

Just when Kenma started saying them on a random day, Keiji already had his break up speech composed.

_“I can’t wait to see you tonight, Kenma.”_

_“I love you, too. So much, my love.”_

* * *

Once all the perishables have been kept in the fridge, Keiji pulled out his suitcases from the storage room. Slowly, he arranged his clothes inside and secured them with the elastic band of the suitcase. He can feel his chest tightening as he emptied out his closet, only stopping when tears finally fell from his eyes. He had planned to pack his stuff once Kenma would be at his meeting, giving him ample time to sort through their clothes and other belongings but he never thought it would be this hard. He was sitting on the hardwood floor, tears falling down his cheeks as he looked up at the now near empty side of his closet. 

It looked wrong.

It _felt_ wrong.

But he has no choice but to continue as Bokuto was already on his way to pick them up.

* * *

“I’m home,” Kenma said as he opened the door, taking off his shoes and wearing his house slippers before collapsing on the couch. It has been a long day at work, and although he admittedly enjoyed the surprise party his staff had held for him earlier, he much preferred the silence, warmth, and comfort of his own home with his boyfriend.

Speaking of whom…

“Keiji? Where are you?” he asked, lifting his head a little off the backrest to look around. The light in the kitchen was on and there was a _heavenly_ smell coming from there. Keiji must be cooking, he thought, and he must not have heard him arrive as _Honey, You Make Me Healthy_ was playing through the bluetooth speaker Keiji insisted on placing on their kitchen island.

Kenma smiled, deciding to join his boyfriend in the kitchen and true enough, he was busy stirring something on the pan, foot tapping lightly on the floor as he sang to the song softly.

“Hey, you,” Kenma said as he wrapped his arms around Keiji’s waist from his position on his side, making the bespeckled man look back in mild surprise before calming down. 

“I didn’t know you’re home,” Keiji said before kissing his cheek, returning the smile Kenma gave him.

“Your music’s too loud,” he shrugged, looking down at the dish Keiji was making. “Is that?”

“Ricotta gnudi with lemon and sage sauce. Or something like that,” he answered as he picked up a spoon and tasted it, frowning as he added more salt. “It should be ready in a minute so go change first.”

“I wanna eat already. The meeting tired me out,” he sighed as he subtly reached for Keiji’s spoon which he instantly held away from Kenma’s reach. “Keiji please, I’m starving.”

“You’re ruining the whole romantic birthday date night at home thing I’m trying to pull off here. Go wash up and change,” he Keiji said sternly, motioning to their room with his head.

Kenma rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless, leaning up a little to kiss him on the cheek. “Yes, Mr. Akaashi, sir.”

With that, he left the kitchen and made his way to their room, sighing in content as the remnants of the calming scent of Keiji’s perfume invaded his senses. He never really wore any scents until he bought him that expensive perfume while on a business trip in the US. he must have liked it, as Keiji had used it since he got it. And since then, he has associated the aroma with Keiji.

Truth be told, he has a tiny bottle of that perfume in his own purse. No, he doesn’t use it himself; he just takes a whiff of it whenever he or Keiji is on overtime and he needs the calm and comfort only Keiji could give him. 

He placed his leather messenger bag on his swivel chair and opened his closet door for a change of clothes, choosing a maroon dress shirt and a fresh pair of black slacks. Just because their romantic dinner is only at home doesn’t mean he couldn’t dress to impress his boyfriend. He held the clothes up and looked at his reflection, nodding in satisfaction before tossing them on the bed.

Before he could reach for his towel, he noticed that Keiji’s closet door beside his was ajar. He was about to close it when he noticed that the usual pile of white polos and shirts on the fourth layer was _gone._ His eyes widened and an onslaught of question invaded his mind, but his mind blanked out when he opened the door completely and found _nothing_ in there.

No pants arranged in hangers, no belts at the back of the door, no messily thrown neckties on the side, no house clothes, no sets of underwear in the bottom drawer, no shoes, no cases of eyeglasses in the small compartment.

Just nothing.

He gulped as he hastily opened his own closet again, feeling panic rise in him as he found that his own clothes are still in there.

He made his way to their shared dresser, and felt his heart sinking more when he couldn’t find any of Keiji’s products on the table. 

He turned to Keiji’s separate working table and found it bare; no laptop, no piles of paperwork, even the Yoda pencil container he had won in the claw machine four years ago was gone.

_‘What the fuck is happening?’_

By then, Kenma was already breathing hard and fast, in confusion, in panic, in _desperation_ to know what the hell Keiji did. He didn’t even notice he had been taking unsteady strides back to the kitchen until he was bracing himself on the kitchen island, eyes wide and glistening with tears as he stared at Keiji who had looked back at the sound of his heavy footsteps.

Keiji didn’t need to know why Kenma looked like that. He must have already noticed the _change_ , and all he could do was clench his jaw as he waited for Kenma to find what words to say.

Kenma could only stare at Keiji’s knowing look, shaking his head a little as bad assumptions after another filled his mind. He wanted to ignore them; he wanted to trust that Keiji’s just playing a game, but he knew him too well.

Keiji was never the kind to joke about things this way.

“What– what’s happening? Where are your clothes? Your paperworks? Your shoes? Keiji, where is your stuff? Where the _hell_ is your stuff?” he asked, his voice dangerously low and quivering as he breathed in shakily. “Answer me right the fuck now, is this a fucking _prank_? A stupid birthday joke? What? Keiji fucking answer me, fuck!”

The editor turned the heat off as he slowly took his apron off, balling it in his hands as he looked away. He had seen Kenma get angry in the past, but it was the kind of anger that is so silent one wouldn’t know he was actually enraged until they could hear the menacing tone in his voice.

_No._

This one’s different.

Kenma’s angry, Keiji was sure of that, but the tears on his cheeks, the wide eyes, the tone in his raised voice, the fisted hands…

He knew Kenma was more hurt, more confused, and more _lost_ than he was angry.

“Kenma… please,” he started as he slowly approached him, placing the apron on the counter as he tried to hold Kenma’s hand, but he immediately took a step back away from Keiji.

“Please what? Answer my damn question. Where is your shit?” he asked, his eyes wide and unblinking as he looked up at Keiji.

“I—... they’re not here. I—I’m moving out.”

Kenma’s brows furrowed, feeling more confused than ever. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Why is this happening _now_? What happened? Where the hell are you moving to?”

“Kenma, _please_ ,” he repeated, looking at him pleadingly as he finally caught his hand. “Let’s talk. We need to talk.”

“Oh for the love of fucking Christ, let’s talk here. Let’s talk now.”

“Not when you’re this angry, no.”

Kenma chuckled bitterly in disbelief, shaking his head as he pulled his hand away from Keiji’s grasp.

“The hell you expect me to be? Happy? Fucking overjoyed because my partner’s moving out of our home? What the fuck, Keiji?”

“Please stop cursing,” he said, sighing as he took his glasses off and placed it in his chest pocket. “I don’t like it when you curse.”

“And I don’t fucking like it that you did this while I was fucking away! Explain right now, Keiji. Please, for the sake of my goddamn sanity.”

Keiji closed his eyes as every single word coming out of Kenma’s mouth felt like stab wounds on his chest. He wiped his mouth with his palm as he looked back up at Kenma, eyes red and a few tears slowly escaping his eyelids.

“I’m leaving. I’m… I’m ending this. I’m breaking up with you.”

There was silence between the two after Keiji’s words. There was ringing in Kenma’s ears as his eyes slowly blurred when more tears formed in his eyes.

No, he can’t be hearing this right. He must have just misheard him. There’s no way Keiji is breaking up with him. 

Right?

“What?” he managed to utter, lips apart as he stepped forward until Keiji was just an arm’s length away.

“You heard me. I don’t want this anymore. I want out,” Keiji said, his voice barely above a whisper as he _struggled_ to keep looking into Kenma’s eyes directly.

He could feel his heart breaking. Keiji never really saw Kenma breaking down over anything. Crying, yes, but this… with Kenma’s cheeks red in anger as tears continued to fall down with his chest heaving…

He never thought he’d see such a sight, much more _cause_ said reaction.

“And before you assume, no there’s no one else. I didn’t cheat on you. F—Fuck, I could never,” Keiji added, his voice finally breaking at the last word. “I’m doing this for me. And for you, in the long run. But mostly for me right now.”

“What do you mean?” Kenma finally asked after a few moments, his voice strained.

“I can’t… I can’t continue being _yours_ while you’re making your own name while I’m still… fuck, I still don’t know what I want in life, Kenma. I love my job but I don’t see myself doing it for the rest of my life. I love _you…_ but I can’t drag you down with me, not now when you’re way up _there.”_

Kenma was about to argue but Keiji raised his hand. “I know you would tell me you don’t care, that all you want is to have me near. But what about me? I… I want what you have, Kenma. Content, fulfillment, self-satisfaction. I… I can’t have those if I don’t make a move.”

Keiji’s tears were flowing freely down his cheeks as he slowly reached for Kenma’s hand, sighing in relief when he didn’t retract. “I love you so… so much, Kenma, that I’m willing to break my own heart just so I can find myself, so I can be better for you. So I can finally say I deserve you and _you_ deserve me.”

Kenma bit his lip as his his lower jaw quivered, eyes down on their joined hands. He didn’t want to admit it himself, but Keiji has a point. He has the right to want something in his life, but why would he want to achieve those by leaving his side? 

Kenma wanted so bad to understand Keiji, but his own confusion and _pain_ were eating him up. “You do know that you’re crushing my heart right now, right? Doing this out of the blue? Not even taking a second to talk about this ourselves first? And now you decide to leave? On my birthday nonethe-fucking-less?”

“I know what I’m doing right now is unforgivable, but I am hoping… I am _asking_ for your understanding. Kenma please, please let me go.”

“Fuck, no. Call me selfish but I’m not fucking letting you go. I’m not breaking up with you, Keiji, damn it.”

“This will be better for the both of us, trust me, my love,” he whispered as he slowly pulled the now sobbing Kenma against his chest. He held him tight, crying as he rested his lips on Kenma’s forehead. “I just… let me do this, please? I want to see how far I can go without you as my security blanket in everything. I want to… to know if I can stand on my own. I don’t want to just be your boyfriend. I want to be my own person, Kenma.”

Silence enveloped the two of them, with Kenma trying to understand every single word Keiji said and Keiji waiting patiently for the other to say anything. Kenma’s sobs has now reduced to sniffles, but he didn’t pull back.

This might be the last time he could be this close to the love of his life; he would be damned if he pulled back too soon. 

“But why now? Why, of all days, why’d you do this now?”

“Because you deserve the best. I did everything I could to make this day perfect in every way. I bought you the PS5, the accessories, and the games you’ve been talking about nonstop in your streams. I learned and cooked your favorite dish. And now that this day’s ending, I only want the best to remain in you,” he said as he pulled back, just enough to see Kenma’s face. “And this is where I take my leave, because I can try, but I’ll never be the best one for you. Not yet.”

“Keiji, I don’t give a damn about that damn PS5 and that stupid dish. I just want you, _this,_ us,” he pleaded, his futile attempt to try to change Keiji’s mind.

“I’m sorry but… I can’t... I have to do this,” Keiji swallowed before cupping Kenma’s face and laying the gentlest, lightest kiss on his lips. “But let me promise you one thing, yeah?”

Kenma looked at Keiji’s hand as it reached into the back pocket, jaw dropping at the sight of a small velvet box. He looked back up to Keiji’s eyes for a second before looking back down to the box, now open and showing an 18K white gold pierced ring with Roman numeral motif with a single diamond that added a modern touch on the otherwise classic style. Kenma’s eyes were wide as a new batch of tears formed in them.

“I don’t need your yes or no right now. I just want you to hold on to this. Because, Kenma…” he trailed off as he held Kenma’s left hand and laid the ring on his palm before looking back up to his eyes. “I don’t think there’s anyone else in the world that I wanna marry other than you. You are my better half, and you inspire me to be way better than I am now. But I’ll be back, I promise. I will marry you, and we will live together again. Give me time and wait for me, yeah? I’ll be back when the time is right.”

Kenma’s hand shook as he felt the weight of the ring on his palm, biting his bottom lip as Keiji made him close his hand with the ring inside. “Just hold on to that, yeah? When I get back, we will get married ASAP. So, darling, if you can, wait for me as I pull myself together on my own.”

Kenma couldn’t find any word to respond to the stunt Keiji just pulled, and so he shook his head and pulled Keiji into a hard kiss. It was a mess, with their teeth bumping as they bit, nipped, and licked. It wasn’t what they were used to, but somehow, they couldn’t find it in themselves to pull back.

Eventually, the need for air became too much and they pulled back at the same time, lips red and swollen and eyes wet and puffy. Keiji let out a shaky breath as he cupped Kenma’s cheek and laid a soft kiss on Kenma’s forehead.

“I have to go. B-Bokuto-san has been waiting outside. He’s my ride,” he whispered, and another batch of tears fell from Kenma’s eyes as he shook his head. “I’m sorry I can’t join you for dinner, my love. I’d love to, but it’ll just make everything difficult.”

Kenma held on Keiji’s forearm as he leaned into his chest, sobs rocking through his body. Keiji couldn’t do anything but rub his back, allowing himself to revel in this _warmth_ even at the last few seconds.

“I don’t care how long it’ll take you. I will wait. Right here, Keiji. Right here.”

Keiji nodded as he pulled back, making Kenma do the same. “I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life while I’m away, Kenma. Just… please take care. And I promise to do the same.”

“Only if you promise to come back to me.”

Keiji nodded. And for the next few moments, they just stood there, arms on each other’s torsos as they stood in the middle of relishing the moment and dreading the forthcoming separation. Wordlessly, Keiji slowly took Kenma’s hands off of him, his face barely showing the pain he’s feeling inside. Kenma let him, his hand still fisted around Keiji’s ring, Keiji’s _promise_ as he stepped aside.

“I… I’ll go now. Don’t walk me out, please.”

“I’m not planning to.”

_Finally_ , Keiji thought as he sighed in relief when they were on the same page for the first time that night. He can’t bear having Kenma watch him as he goes, and knowing Kenma, he might end up threatening Bokuto into stepping out of the vehicle.

With one last squeeze on his hand and a pat on Kenma’s head, he slowly walked out of the kitchen, walking past the table set for _one_ with a single rose stem laid where his plate should be. He looked back and he had to close his eyes as he saw Kenma just standing in the kitchen, his back on him as he kept himself upright with a hand on the counter. He let out one last sigh and went out the door, his tears falling as it shut close behind him.

He then entered Bokuto’s passenger seat, with Bokuto immediately driving away once Keiji closed the door. No words were exchanged, and Keiji reminded himself to thank his best friend for that. After tonight, he doesn’t think he could do anything other than lie down and cry.

“There’s a can of beer in the paper bag beside you. Take it. You’ll need it,” Bokuto said after a few minutes of silence. Keiji muttered his thanks before taking one and drinking from it.

“So did you do it?”

“I did. All of it.”

Bokuto hummed as he stopped at a red light, his eyes on Keiji through the rearview mirror. “So what now?”

“I don’t know yet, but I’ll figure it out soon. I have to. I don’t want to make Kenma wait for long.”

Bokuto couldn’t do anything but nod, offering his fist to Keiji which the latter immediately bumped with a light chuckle.

And as the car moved again, Keiji looked out to the buildings they had passed by. It hurts, everything in him hurts, but he knows that all of this will be worth it. It has to be, or breaking both their hearts would be for nothing.

_I don’t know where I’m going yet, but I’m on my way. I’ll be back when the time is right, my love._

**Author's Note:**

> A kinda late homage for Kenma's birthday. I apologize for breaking them up sksjdkjdk ya'll can blame Kris (@KrisAnitwt on Twitter) for this. Xoxo


End file.
